You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
