I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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