u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize