I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
