How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
