If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She's JV to your varsity
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
