Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
