and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
