Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize