ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize