Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
