Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
