Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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