do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
