so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
