Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
