guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I deserve this hangover.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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