what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
