Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
