The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
