so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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