hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
