Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
