Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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