I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
