Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
