only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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