I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
