I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
