i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
