4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
