Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize