I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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