he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
