I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Umm I'm too high to move.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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