Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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