dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize