Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
