i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
