I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
