I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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