let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize