I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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