i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
