Where did you get a picture of my penis
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
