TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
