You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
