like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
