Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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