sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
