I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
