Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
