what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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