i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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