I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
