btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
