I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Randomize
