so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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